A Real Man Wears Hello Kitty Underwear!
by xXGrayGuitar14Xx
Summary: A real man wears Hello Kitty underwear. A wimp passes out on England's couch butt naked. China, Switzerland, Russia and Poland one shots all involving their weird obsession with Hello Kitty items. If you want more chapters then ask.
1. A Real Man!

**A/N: Yea it's just something stupid that I made up. It's kind of a continuation of chapter 13 in Our Worlds, Now Divided except Sierra isn't in this at all. It's completely random, but I hope you enjoy it!**

**A real man wears Hello Kitty underwear!**

It was just a normal day at the World Meeting. Well, as normal as it is for the countries. Prussia brought beer that day and got everyone insanely drunk! So drunk that China tied to take off Switzerland's Hello Kitty underwear. You read that right. Switzerland has Hello Kitty underwear.

And who wants it?

That's right. China. So that is why Switzerland is running away from a squealing China who wants to take off his underwear. Germany was currently holding up a pistol to Japan's head while America was laughing loudly. France was trying to do inappropriate things to England. England, however, was too busy shouting profanities at Russia to notice that France was trying to rape him.

"Switzerland, give me the undies!" China screamed. Switzerland felt violated already. Stupid Spain took his pants off and when China spotted his Hello Kitty underwear, all hell broke loose.

Now, I bet your wondering why Switzerland has Hello Kitty underwear. Well, let's rewind back to yesterday…

***(Yeesterday at Switzerland's House!)***

"Big Bruder! I have something for you!" Lichtenstein yelled cheerfully. Today, she went over to Switzerland's house to spend quality time with him. She had made him some stuff too. She remembered a complaint about a shortage of underwear, socks, shirts, and other things she couldn't quite remember. Lichtenstein didn't like to see her Big Bruder stressed out.

Switzerland was on his back porch having a cup of tea. "Yes, Lillie what is it?" Lichtenstein giggled and handed a brown paper bag to him. He took it and looked it over before opening it. His eyes widened. Inside were bedazzled, pink, sparkly Hello Kitty underwear. There were a pair of shirts and shorts that were also bedazzled, pink, sparkly and had Hello Kitty plastered on them.

Switzerland got a look of disgust on his face and looked back up at Lillie. Her face fell when she saw Switzerland's disgusted expression. Why didn't he like it? She worked so hard on it! Tears started running down her face.

Switzerland quickly said, "No Lillie! I like it a lot! I just wasn't expecting you to get this for me! Please, I'm very sorry, Lillie! I'll wear the stuff for you. Don't cry…"

Lichtenstein recovered and nodded her head. "Ok, Big Bruder."

***(Anyway…)***

Yep, that is why Switzerland is wearing Hello Kitty underwear. He saw in the corner that Italy was passed out and Prussia was looming over him. Switzerland quickly shoved Prussia away from the past out Italy. Italy just mumbled about pasta.

Switzerland suddenly felt two warm hands wrap around his waist and he felt a sudden breeze between his legs. His Hello Kitty underwear! Switzerland quickly pulled up his underwear and pried China's hands away from him. Switzerland bolted for the door, not caring that he only had Hello Kitty underwear on.

The rest was a blur to Switzerland. He was running then he ran into a door and found it was England's house. China somehow obtained his Hello Kitty underwear. That is how Switzerland ended up in England's house with his butt up in the air, with no underwear. China was parading his bedazzled, pink, and sparkly Hello Kitty underwear around.

Remember: A real man wears Hello Kitty underwear. A wimp just passes out on England's couch naked.


	2. Want them so badly!

**A/N: Thanks to Ayumi Kudou who gave me more ideas for this story! I'll make 2 more one shots out of these! Unless I decide to make more. Here's part 2 of A Real Man Wears Hello Kitty Underwear! **

"Aw! How adorable! That's totally awesome! I want some too…" Poland squealed over the phone.

After stealing Switzerland's Hello Kitty underwear, China wanted more. He found out from an inside source (which was Prussia by the way) that Lichtenstein had made her brother some Hello Kitty clothes.

"Yes, aru! I want some so bad, aru!" China squealed. "Poland, can you go grab them for me?"

"Like, no way! I want some too! How about I take the shorts and you take the shirt? Is that totally ok with you?" Poland asked hopefully. China didn't want to give up his chance on Hello Kitty clothes, but Switzerland would be sober this time and it would be more difficult to get the clothes from him.

Poland was thinking the same thing and decided that when it came down to it he would hit China over the head with a bat and run away.

"Ok, let's go to Switzerland's house at midnight." China said.

***( At Switzerland's house)***

It was almost midnight and Switzerland couldn't sleep. He felt like something bad was going to happen to tonight, so he felt the need to be prepared. He had his rifle with him and he was perched by his window.

Of course what man has Hello Kitty clothes on and is caring around a gun on watch duty? Switzerland that is who. Lillie had insisted that he wear his new clothes today. Of course Switzerland never left the house. He said he had to do paper work today, but it was a lie. Lillie wanted to go to the store with him today, but he stayed in.

Switzerland did feel bad about lying to Lillie, but it was the only option. He didn't want to hurt her feelings. Switzerland still didn't know why he had his Hello Kitty clothes on, but he felt like he should wear them.

Meanwhile, China and Poland had entered Switzerland's house through the chimney. They descended the grand stairs and investigated the upstairs rooms. A light was on in one of the rooms. China and Poland took a peek inside and saw Lichtenstein sewing Hello Kitty faces into a green uniform.

China almost fainted. He wanted that uniform so bad he pissed himself. Poland had to hold China back and motivate him to find Switzerland; they would worry about Lichtenstein later.

China and Poland tip toed down another hallway and found Switzerland's room. "Those clothes are so cute, aru!" China said. Poland took out his bat and ran forward. The bat cracked against Switzerland's skull. Switzerland passed out and fell down to the floor.

China and Poland smiled evilly. "Let's get to work, aru."

"Yeah, like totally." Poland agreed. Poland hit China over the head with the bat. "Yeah, like totally, those clothes are mine you pussy."

***( In the morning)* **

Lichtenstein woke up. She stayed up till midnight last night working on Switzerland's new Hello Kitty uniform. She didn't know why she woke up early this morning, but she felt extremely happy. She walked down the hall to Switzerland's room and opened the door.

She screamed bloody murder that all the European countries could hear her.

On the floor, was a naked Switzerland. There was a note attached to his head that said,

_ Yeah, sorry I like hit Switzerland over the head. I wanted his Hello Kitty clothes so badly. In the closet there shall be China. He may be naked too. I can't remember. _

_With love, Poland XOXO_

Lilli let the note drop on the floor and she ran to Switzerland's closet. Inside was a sleeping, naked China cuddling his panda bear. The panda bear was crying. "Help… me."

Lillie shut the closet door and stalked out of Switzerland's room. She will forever hate Hello Kitty.

**A/N: Sorry if this sucked! I rushed it and I got lazy. My bad. Next chapter will be better and out this Friday maybe. So review and check out my other stories. Peace Out~**

**Updated: May 20, 2012**


	3. I hate Hello Kitty

**A/N: Thanks to Ayumi Kudo again! You are flipping awesome! You keep giving me ideas and I want to keep writing these one shots because they are pretty damn funny. I enjoy writing these. **

**So, I'm giving credit to Ayumi Kudo. Please make a account because I want to respond to you! :D **

"Lillie! Please make me some, aru!" China begged. Lillie sat at the breakfast with her eye brows furrowed. She didn't look very attractive with that pissed off look on her face.

"No." she said firmly. China turned fierce. "Ah! This sucks balls big time! Just make me some, aru!"

Lillie leaned forward. Her tone threatening. "If you ask me again I'll call Russia's ass so he can take you and rape you. Now, get out of Big Bruder's house. You have three minutes." China began walking toward the door. He was about to pick up his panda, but Lillie stopped him.

"The panda stays with me." Lillie glared angrily at China. He shivered. Lillie was pretty damn scary when she needed to be! China ran toward the door, not before shouting, "I'll be back for your Hello Kitty clothes!"

As soon as China exited the house, Lillie picked up the phone. "Russia? Yes, I have a little favor to ask of you."

***( To Poland)***

"yeah, and I totally got some cute clothes too! You should come see them!" Poland exclaimed. He was currently talking to Lithuania, who really didn't want to talk to him.

"Well, that's nice. I never knew you were a fan of pink." Lithuania said quietly. He honestly didn't care. Poland laughed loudly.

"Yep. I gotta get Lichtenstein to make me some more. Maybe we can have matching uniforms!" Poland exclaimed.

A knock sounded on the door. Poland hung up on Lithuania and opened the door. Poland screamed.

"Give me your clothes, now!" Belarus said. She had a knife in her hand that was tipped with blood. Oh no…

"Belarus. Lovely Belarus! What would you like?" Poland said as cheerfully as he could. Never show fear around Belarus.

Belarus pushed past Poland and entered his home. She made her self comfortable on the couch.

"What do you need, Belarus?" Poland asked nervously.

Belarus smirked. "I want your Hello Kitty clothes. Give them to me. NOW."

***( China)***

"R-Russia…" China stuttered. Russia was in China's house. Russia had that creepy smile on his face.

"You know what I hate the most?" Russia asked. China shook his head. Russia began to laugh loudly.

"I hate Hello Kitty. A lot." Russia stepped forward with a pipe in his hands as he approached China.

"No! No, aru!" China cried.

***( A few hours later)***

"Welcome back, Mr. Russia. Um, what exactly are you wearing?" Lithuania asked.

Russia smiled. "I'm wearing some new clothes. Do you like my Hello Kitty shirt?"

**A/N: Ok, unless people want more this is the last chapter. This was a funny yet horrible story. I hope I never create something like this again. If you want more then request it then I'll make more chapters. **

**Updated: 6/8/12 **


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